I'm walking on these streets without you
by DFWMSeme Alert
Summary: Albus has a seemingly perfect life - he is smart, handsome and the well-loved star of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. But he is also in love with the cold, arrogant and beautiful Scorpius Malfoy. They are on opposite ends of the social ladder until one day in their sixth year their worlds collide and are turned completely upside down. Yaoi, Slash, BoyxBoy. Don't like? Don't read!
1. Lies

_**Chapter one: Lies**_

_**Author's Note: Hi! So this is my first fanfic - I hope that you like it and I would love reviews and any constructive feedback that you can give me :D Enjoy! **_

"Love is a funny thing – it excites you and fascinates you – it consumes you. Like a fire that burns brightly and brilliantly until there is nothing left but ashes." He wrote slowly, quill scratching across the parchment in the semi-darkness. When he was finished, he closed the book and put it into the drawer in his bedside table, put his quill and ink away and drew the curtains shut around his four poster bed.

Yet, even as he lay back against his pillows and closed his eyes, he could not feel sleep taking him. Thoughts that he had tried so hard to suppress were creeping back into his mind – thoughts of Scorpius. That beautiful, intelligent, arrogant boy that he so desperately loved.

He eventually drifted off into an uneasy sleep with thoughts of a parallel world in which Scorpius actually loved him back and in which they were walking the beautiful streets of Hogsmeade hand in hand, the colourful autumn leaves falling all around them. Neither of them knew exactly where they were headed or where they were going to go from here. But it didn't matter – they were together and that was what mattered. As the sun set and eventually disappeared in Albus' dream world, so did any hope of his that the dream may actually have a chance of coming true.

Albus woke with a start, his heart aching for what he had lost – even if it was only a dream. Albus cried himself back to sleep that night. The pain of loving someone who doesn't love him back – who can never love him back – broke Albus' heart.

The next morning he woke with a start to his cousin Rose shaking him awake. "Come on" she said. "We're going to be late for breakfast." He groaned and reluctantly got up. Rose was waiting for him. Trust Rose to be the one worried about being late. She had always the studious one who was never late and who was loved by teachers and students alike.

But one did not want to get on the wrong side of Rose Weasley. Not only would she completely kick their ass, being one of the most talented in their year, but she is a Weasley. And getting on the wrong side of a Potter or a Weasley was never a good idea as they were such a tight-knit group and had so many relatives within Hogwarts that if a person got on the wrong side of one Potter or Weasley, they got on the wrong side of them all.

When Albus and Rose reached the Great Hall, Albus' eyes scanned the Hall for the object of his desire. He quickly found him at the Slytherin table with his friends enjoying his breakfast – when Albus saw him he felt that gut-wrenching, heat shattering feeling that he got whenever he saw Scorpius. He had to drag his eyes away from Scopius' beautiful features; his blond hair that was unlike any other colour that Albus had ever seen before which was neatly combed back away from his face, his shining silvery-grey eyes that were like glittering stars situated in his pale, perfect face. Albus' eyes wandered to Scopius' beautiful mouth with full, pink lips that looked so incredibly kissable and lingered for a moment too long. Rose spoke then, interrupting Albus' thoughts of Scorpius' lips and what he would like to do to them. "Albus!" Rose said. "Hmm?" Albus replied, tearing his eyes away from Scorpius' perfect face. "What's wrong?" she asked. "Nothing" he replied, brushing off her questions.

Rose was his cousin and his best friend but he just couldn't tell her. It wasn't because he felt that he couldn't trust her – in fact he couldn't even explain to himself why he couldn't tell her – perhaps because she just wouldn't understand. Rose had never fallen for someone of the same gender - someone who would never look twice at her except to leer or throw some insult at her. That was what Albus had to deal with on a daily basis. Fuck my life he thought silently, as he quietly ate his breakfast, ignoring Rose's constant worried glances. "Are you sure that you're ok? You look kinda down – is there something that you're not telling me?" she asked him, her voice filled only with concern for Albus. "Don't worry so much – I'm fine." If only you knew, Albus thought to himself as he finished his breakfast in silence.


	2. Aftereffect

**_Chapter two: Aftereffect_**

**Author's Note: Sorry for not updating for the past couple of days. I have made this chapter longer to make up for it. I Promise that I will try to update at least every second day. Thank you to everyone who reviewed! You made my day XD Enjoy!**

The rest of the day passed in a blur – or so it felt to Albus – until his last class of the day which was potions. It was also the only class he had with Scorpius Malfoy which made it rather difficult for Albus to be able to properly concentrate on whatever the hell Professor Slughorn was talking about.

"Albus!" Rose hissed angrily at him from the seat on his right. "You have to pay attention if you have any hope of scraping a decent mark in Potions" she continued, annoyed at his lack of enthusiasm in a subject that she personally considered not only to be highly important, but also fascinating and enjoyable. Needless to say, Albus did not share her views on this. It was one of the many things that they disagreed upon. But he knew that she was right about paying attention – he needed to do well in Potions in order to become an Auror like his father.

So, reluctantly he focussed his attention back to what Professor Slughorn was explaining. "Now this is a very important assignment as it will make up 30% of your final grade for this year. You will be working in pairs which I have assigned – no arguments please!" he said as a unanimous groan swept throughout the classroom.

"Silence please! I will now come around and give you a piece of paper with the name of the person that you are to be paired with." Slughorn went on. Albus was conflicted – he didn't want to be paired with Scorpius as that would be highly awkward and embarrassing, however he was also silently hoping that he was paired with the beautiful blond Slytherin with those amazing grey eyes… he was quickly pulled out of his reverie by Slughorn handing him a piece of parchment. He opened it slowly, and inside the name 'Scorpius' was written in neat, slanting handwriting.

"Just my luck" thought Albus – only he couldn't figure out whether it was good or bad luck that he was paired with Scorpius. Albus looked up in shock and found his look of shock and surprise mirrored on Scorpius' beautiful face. "Ok listen" shouted Professor Slughorn over the noise of the students' chattering and groaning over who they were paired with.

"I can't believe I was paired with Mary Parkinson" complained Rose. "Who'd you get?" asked Rose peering over his shoulder in an effort to see the name written on his piece of parchment. "Malfoy" replied Albus shortly. "Lucky!" Rose exclaimed. "What I wouldn't give to be partnered with him… he's so gorgeous and mysterious… " Albus thankfully didn't have to listen to her fantasising over Scorpius any longer because at that moment Slughorn called the class to order and told them to get into their pairs. "You will have two lessons to work on this in class but you will also have to do some work on it in your own time. I suggest that you use your class time given for this assignment wisely."

There was some shuffling and scraping of chairs as students went over to join their partners. Albus hesitantly went over to where Malfoy stood at his table. "Hi" he said awkwardly. "Hello" Scorpius replied coolly. "Uh so we have time to work on this next lesson but we should probably do some work on it before then" Albus said. "I agree" replied Scorpius in that same indifferent yet perfectly polite manner. "Shall we meet in the library tomorrow after dinner? Say 7.30? Does that work for you?" continued Scorpius. "Th-that works fine for me" stammered Albus. Shit. Why did he have to turn into a stuttering idiot in front of Scorpius of all people? He thought angrily to himself. "I'll see you then." Scorpius said, interrupting Albus' thoughts as the bell rang signalling the end of class. "Yeah - see you then" Albus replied weakly as Scopius walked over to join his friends and proceed to leave the classroom, grateful that classes were over for the day.

"Ok" Albus thought to himself as he walked over to where Rose was waiting for him. "I'm stuck working on this assignment with him I just have to make the most of it and try to act normal around him." He barely heard Rose talking to him about Mary and how she wasn't as bad as she first thought and was actually quite nice once you spoke to her. "That's great Rose" he told her. Things seemed to be going well for her. He wasn't sure if he could say the same about the situation with Scorpius though. So far, all he had managed to do was make himself look like a complete fool in front of said blond Slytherin. "I'll just have to wait and see what happens" he thought as he settled into one of the comfortable chairs by the fire with Rose and finished his rather long and tedious Charms essay. By the time he had finished his essay, and accepted Rose's offer to play a game of exploding snap, all thoughts of Scorpius Malfoy had been pushed to the back of his mind.

Meanwhile, back in the Slytherin common room, Scorpius was lost deep in thoughts of Albus Potter. Why had Potter seemed so nervous when they had been paired together for this assignment? Albus who was so popular and confident being the seeker and star of the Griffindor Quidditch team? Who took crap from no-one? Maybe it was because they didn't know each other at all really. They were I the same year and had been in the same Potions class since first year but they had never really spoken to one another. Scorpius remembered the way that Albus had looked at him with those deep, impossibly green eyes – like he was just as nervous as Scopius was though Scorpius preferred not to show it. Scorpius suddenly found himself wondering about the raven-haired boy. What was he really like? Was he really all he was made out to be? He was rumoured to be cocky and arrogant and a complete player. Rumour had almost every second girl at Hogwarts having slept with Albus at some point. Scorpius wasn't sure how much of it – if any – of it was true. Was he actually what he appeared to be? Somehow Scorpius didn't quite think so – but he was curious to find out.

**Please review and tell me what you think of this chapter!**


	3. All Day I Think of You

_**Chapter three: All Day I Think of You**_

**Author's Note: I am so sorry that I haven't updated in so long. Please don't hate me, I have just been so busy with school that I haven't had the time to post a new chapter, however, I am on holidays now and therefore will hopefully be able to post a lot more frequently. Please take the time to review – I really appreciate it. Enjoy! XD**

**For those of you who are K-Pop fans, in case you haven't yet noticed, I am naming all of my chapters after K-Pop songs! Cuz I'm just random like that ^_^**

**And something I forgot to include in my last two chapters, Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters of Albus and Scorpius (unfortunately) *cries***

The next day, Albus ate his dinner quickly in order to make sure that he was on time to meet Scorpius in the library. He barely tasted his food in his effort to eaat quickly and Rose noticed her best friends' uncharacteristic behaviour. "What's the hurry?" Rose asked him, amused. She suspected that she already knew the answer. "Oh! Uh… nothing. Just meeting Scorpius to work on our potions assignment in the library soon and I want to make sure that I'm on time." Albus said hurriedly. "I see…" Rose replied, inwardly smiling at the faint blush she could see creeping onto Albus' cheeks. Rose loved Albus but he was terrible at keeping secrets, especially from Rose who knows him so well. She suspected there was more to this than Albus was letting on but she would leave it up to him to tell her when he felt ready.

After Albus had finished his dinner and said goodbye to Rose, he walked out of the great hall, up the marble steps and headed towards the library. When he got to the library, he checked his watch: fifteen minutes to go. He decided just to sit at a table nearby and make a start before Scopius arrived.

Albus became so absorbed in what he was reading in a fascinating potions book that looked to be about fifty years old, that he didn't even notice Scorpius approaching him until he placed his hand on Albus' shoulder and said "Hello Potter". Albus looked up startled and looked Scopius in the eye. "Hi" he replied nervously, not wanting to stutter and stumble over his words as he did last time. The last thing he needed right now was to make an even bigger fool of himself in front of Scorpius than he already had.

Scopius removed his hand from Albus' shoulder and Albus felt himself already missing Scorpius' warm touch. It was probably for the best however, because without the distraction of Scopius' hand, he could think clearly (well, as much as he ever could think clearly around Scorpius that is). "You seemed to be very interested in that book" said Scopius coolly with a smirk on his face. "It's very interesting" replied Albus, matching Scopius' cool tone. Scorpius smiled slightly and said "Well, we should probably make a start on the assignment" Scopius said. Albus felt his breath hitch in his chest and his heart rate quicken as Scopius looked at him in the eye with an almost unreadable expression on his beautiful features. It was something akin to curiosity. Or perhaps Albus was just reading too much into it. "Yes…"

Albus said and they got to work. It was frustratingly difficult to focus on the assignment and not to let his mind and eyes wander over to the beautiful boy sitting next to him. They worked in silence for a while only talking to compare information that they were including in their assignment. After about an hour and a bit, Scorpius said "You're different than I expected" Albus looked up in surprise, not quite sure how to answer that. It was completely out of the blue. "What do you mean?" he finally said looking curiously at the other boy. "I just mean that I don't know you very well – we've never properly spoken to one another. I've just heard a lot about you – you being the star of the Gryffindor Quidditch team and being so popular. Given your reputation and popularity, I suppose I just expected someone really arrogant and up themself but you're not like that at all. I suppose it just caught me by surprise how kind and quiet you actually are." Scorpius said and blushed a little. Albus didn't know what to say. "Thanks. There's a lot of stuff said about me being Harry Potter's son and a Quidditch player like he was. Truth be told, I hate this constant attention and expectation to be like my father and to follow in his footsteps. So many people see me as Harry Potter's son. Not many people actually see me as Albus – the person who I truly am." Albus said sadly then he blushed furiously. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to admit all of that" he said awkwardly "You probably don't want to want to hear about my problems." He continued. "It's alright" replied Scopius with a smile – it was the first time Albus had seen Scorpius genuinely smile and he had to admit that he liked it a lot – and said "It's nice to see this different side of you." He said. "You as well" said Albus a smile creeping onto his face "You're not what I expected either." He said. "Thanks" said Scorpius said, still smiling.

At that moment Madam Pince came over to tell them that the library was closing soon. They packed up their books in silence. "So… same time tomorrow?" he asked. "Sure" replied Albus and they went back to their respective dormitories with smiles on their faces.

As Scopius got dressed and got into bed that evening, he was still thinking of Albus. His mind was drawn back to memories of their conversation in the library. Scorpius couldn't stop thinking about it and about Albus' smile – it was beautiful – when Albus had smiled at him, it had given him a warm, fuzzy feeling in his heart that he couldn't quite describe. He pictured Albus' face - his eyes had lit up when he smiled at Scorpius and it was stunning. Albus' bright green eyes were even more beautiful when he smiled, and those lips were full and pink and that looked so completely kissable. What he would like to dot to those perfect lips… What? Scorpius' mind reeled. He had just been having inappropriate thoughts about Albus Potter of all people. Another _guy. _He couldn't be having these kinds of thoughts. He wasn't gay for crying out loud. He felt so confused and alone. There wasn't really anyone he could talk to about this. He supposed that he could talk to Mary – she was his best friend after all but she wouldn't really understand. He had no idea how she would even react if he told her that he was having these kinds of thoughts about another guy – and not just any guy – Albus Potter who was well renowned for being a womanizer. There was no way that Albus Potter was gay much less into Scorpius of all people. Scorpius eventually fell asleep with thoughts swimming around his head about Albus and what these thoughts and feelings meant.

Across the castle, Albus Potter lay in his bed thinking about Scopius and their conversation earlier in the library. He was filled with a kind of childlike happiness at the thought of the way that Scorpius had been so kind to him earlier and he fell asleep dreaming about the one that his heart yearned for more than anything or anyone else.


	4. Alone

_**Chapter four: Alone**_

**Author's Note: Hi! So I'm thinking that this fic is going to be about 8-9 chapters long but I'm not exactly sure. I will keep you posted. XD**

**WARNING: Angst and self-harm in this chapter and probably in the next couple of chapters as well. I would just like to say that I in no way think that self-harm is ok, and I am not trying to offend anyone, I am merely trying to describe the character's emotions and pain. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters of Albus and Scorpius, they belong to J.K. Rowling.**

Over the next two weeks, Albus and Scorpius continued to work on their assignment and before they knew it, they were starting to become friends. They talked more and more about personal stuff during their many study sessions and Albus gradually began to get to know the boy who had always seemed so cold and aloof before.

Albus found that he liked this other side of Scorpius. Scorpius was also pleasantly surprised by this boy, and once he got to know him discovered that he was not only smart, but funny and kind. More than once when they were in the library "studying", Madam Pince came over and snapped at them to be quiet in her library, because they were laughing so loudly.

One day when they were in the library whispering to each other under the watchful glare of Madam Pince, Scorpius had asked; "So… the next Hogsmeade visit is this Saturday, are you planning on going?"

"Uh, yeah I am" Albus said, "Why?"

Scorpius smiled. Albus really loved that smile "Well I'm probably going to go and I was wondering if you were as well, then maybe we could do something."

Albus had to try to stop himself from hyperventilating. Oh god oh god. He thought. Wait… don't freak out. He's just asked you something that any of your other friends would ask you. Then he looked up at Scorpius who was looking up at him waiting for an answer. "Yeah, absolutely" he replied, smiling back at Scorpius.

"What are you looking so happy about?" asked Rose when Albus got back to the Gryffindor common room later that afternoon. "By the way, I'm sorry, but I probably won't go to Hogsmeade with you on Saturday, because I already said I would go with Mary" she said.

"Mary huh? I didn't know that you two had become such good friends." He told her with a smile.

"Yeah, you don't hate me for not going with you though right?" she said nervously. "I could never hate you Rose, besides" he said, ruffling her hair playfully she squealed and ducked out of Albus' reach trying desperately to fix her hair "I'm going to Hogsmeade with Scorpius" he finished.

When she had composed herself enough to reply, she said "Ok, now I feel a little better about ditching you" she said, smiling up at him. "I'm glad you two are becoming friends" she said. "Me too" he replied.

The visit to Hogsmeaade was a perfect day. Albus and Scorpius walked down to the little village shivering in the cold winter air. As they were walking, it suddenly started to snow. It had been snowing on and off for the past week and already a thick layer of snow covered the ground. Albus looked up at the sky, his eyes filled with wonder. "I love winter and especially snow" he said.

"Me too. I like winter and the cold but I almost find that it's not worth being really cold unless it snows" replied Scorpius.

"I never thought I would meet someone else who feels the same way. Rose hates snow and the cold. She loves summer and heat. I have never seen the appeal in having to stand stinking hot weather and then being all sweaty, ugh." Said Albus.

"I know, me either" replied Scorpius laughing at the look on Albus' face. "You two seem really close. I don't have any siblings and I only have two cousins who I am not particularly close to. I suppose I am a little envious of the bond that the two of you have. Must be nice." He said thoughtfully.

"It is. And Rose is fantastic. We are completely different, yet somehow we get along really well and she has been my best friend for as long as I can remember." Replied Albus. "But of course we get on each other's nerves a lot, especially being family and all."

"I can imagine" said Scorpius with a small smile.

A little while later after they had visited all the shops that they had wanted to go to, and had filled their pockets with Honeydukes sweets and Weasley Wizard Wheezes products, they decided to go and get a hot mug of Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. As Albus walked over to the table that Scopius was sitting at waiting for him, hot mugs of Butterbeer in his hands, Albus felt strangely at ease, yet, in the back of his mind that nagging feeling of desire coupled with complete and utter hopelessness never went away and it left him with a dull ache in his heart.

On the way back to the castle a couple of hours later, Albus suddenly felt a snowball hit him in the back. He turned sharply around and saw Scorpius looking at him with a huge smirk on his face.

"Oh you're on!" ALbus shouted, grinning.

They then proceeded to have an epic snowball fight for about half an hour in which both boys ended up completely soaked to the skin and freezing.

Laughing, Scorpius tackled Albus to the ground. They wrestled about in the snow for a minute, Scorpius pinning Albus down onto the cold ground before Albus reached up and lightly pressed his lips against Scorpius'.

It lasted all of about three seconds before Scorpius jumped up and looked at Albus with a look of utmost shock on his face. "Wh-what on earth was _that_?" he asked touching his lips lightly almost as if he had been burned.

Albus' face had gone from ivory to bright red.

"I-I I don't know" Albus finally managed to stutter. Scorpius still looked like he had stuck a fork into a toaster.

That look was burned into Albus' mind forever. What had he been thinking? The only answer was that he hadn't. Fuck. He thought. This is it – Scorpius won't want anything to do with me anymore. That thought was like a knife through his heart – the idea of never talking to Scorpius again, of never seeing him smile or laugh again… he couldn't even comprehend it.

Without another word, Scorpius turned away from Albus and ran back up to the castle.

Albus didn't even try to follow him. He just fell on his knees in the snow and collapsed into broken sobs.

All the way up to the castle, Scorpius' mind was filled with thoughts, with questions. What was that? Why would Albus kiss him? Was it just a joke? A prank him and his buddies thought up to amuse themselves and make a fool out of me? He didn't know. And what hurt the most was that Scorpius had realised that he actually did like Albus as much more than as a friend. He would have given anything for that kiss to be genuine – a sign that Albus did like him back and that he needed Scorpius just as much as Scorpius needed Albus. He didn't even entertain the idea that Albus might actually like him back though – the idea just seemed too far-fetched and just completely impossible. Scorpius went to his dormitory and collapsed onto his bed and cried for what seemed like an eternity.

When Albus finally made it to his dormitory, he just felt completely numb. Everything had been completely turned upside-down in a matter of seconds, his friendship with Scorpius had been ruined. All because of his own stupidity. How could things go from so perfect to so terrible in such a short space of time? Tears ran down his face but he did nothing to stem the flow of salty tears cascading down his face. He felt as if his chest had been ripped open and his heart had been torn out. He went over to his bed, pulling the curtains closed around him. Then he did something that he had not done in a long time. He rolled up the sleeve of his jumper, exposing his arm, revealing scars on his wrist that had long ago healed but never completely fade. He got his wand and muttered a simple spell, _Cruoris._ He said it over and over again. With each time he muttered the spell, another wound was cut into his skin. Albus watched his skin tear and his crimson blood run down his arm. It was oddly fascinating to watch his own skin be torn apart by the work of his own two hands. He felt completely numb. Only the physical pain he felt provided him any escape from the agonizing pain in his heart. Deep red blood continued to run down his arm and splatter onto his bed. Red on red he vaguely noted in the back of his mind as he saw the blood dripping onto the dark red coverlet of his bed. He lay back against his pillows and as sleep overcame him, in the back of his mind, he hoped that he wouldn't ever wake up.

**So yeah, that was intense. Please review and let me know what you think **


	5. Come Back

_**Chapter five: Come Back**_

**Author's Note: Hi! So I'm sorry I have not updated in what seems like forever, but I have been suffering a serious case of writers block. So to make up for it, I am giving you a double update! That's right – I am posting two chapters for you! I hope that you like them and please review! XD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters of Albus and Scorpius, they belong to J.K. Rowling.**

Scorpius refused to speak to Albus in the weeks following the dreaded kiss. He wouldn't even look at him anymore. With each passing day, Albus became more and more depressed and barely ate or slept at all. He continued to cut himself when his dorm mates were away and hardly spoke to anyone. His arms had soon become a battleground of scars – a physical manifestation of a war that he waged upon himself. His skin had become a sort of sickly white colour which made the red scars on his arms stand out all the more. Deep, dark circles had formed under his eyes from his lack of sleep which accentuated his pale skin and his cheekbones which now stuck out much more than they used to due to Albus having lost so much weight over the last couple of weeks.

God how he missed Scorpius! That friendly smile, that laugh, that time that they spent together even just in comfortable silence. He just wanted Scorpius to talk to him again; to even look at him would be enough – anything that showed that Scorpius acknowledged that Albus was there. This cold, distant silence was more than Albus could bear.

Rose had of course, noticed this, despite Albus' best efforts to keep it from her. He should have known by now that it was useless to try to keep anything from Rose. She a) knew him to well for her to not notice that something was wrong with her best friend and b) she was too nosy not to do something about it.

His constant assurances of "I'm fine" fooled no one, least of all Rose and with each passing day, she was becoming more and more worried about him. She knew it had something to do with Malfoy and that day that the two of them had spent in Hogsmeade, but she had no idea what had gone down. However, she was determined to find out exactly what the hell had happened between Albus and Scorpius that fateful day in Hogsmeade.

Scorpius however, was not looking much better than Albus was these days.

He too, was scarcely eating or sleeping and his already pale skin had now taken on a waxy sort of complexion. Dark circles had formed under his eyes which gave him the look of someone who had been punched in the face and he had also lost weight.

Mary, being his best friend, had not failed to noticed this and like Rose, she had discerned that this change in Scorpius was directly tied to the day that Scorpius had gone with Albus to Hogsmeade but the only thing she had been able to get out of Scorpius was that he had had some sort of fight with Albus. As Mary really didn't know Albus well enough to go and confront him about it, she decided to approach Albus' best friend; Rose Weasley who she was sort of friends with now due to their being thrown together on their potions assignment.

It wasn't hard to find her – Mary would recognise that flaming red hair anywhere – and she saw her the next day exiting the Great Hall after dinner and thankfully, she was alone.

"Rose!" called Mary across the flood of students exiting the Great Hall. Rose turned around, searching for the source of the voice calling her name. Her eyes scanned the entrance hall and eventually landed on Mary standing about five metres away. They locked eyes and Mary waved, making her way across the hall towards Rose.

"Hey" said Mary; "I'm glad I found you – I've been looking for you"

"Me too. I've been looking for you as well actually" replied Rose. "I have something I want to talk to you about – do you have anything on now?"

"Nothing" said Mary "Shall we go then?"

They went up to the astronomy tower which was technically out of bounds except for classes, but Rose was a Prefect, not to mention, a model student so no one would question them even if they were found up here.

"So…" Mary began awkwardly.

"I'm worried about Albus"

"I'm worried about Scorpius"

They both spoke at the same time and then burst out laughing.

"Great minds think alike" said Rose with a smile. Then it faded as she again thought of Albus and this downward spiral he seemed to be on which she was powerless to stop.

"You've noticed it too?" asked Mary hesitantly.

"Yeah" replied Rose "I just don't really understand – they were good friends and things seemed to be going so well between them and then they went to Hogsmeade together and everything changed. Now they're not speaking to each other and Albus… well I just don't know what to do. He has been so down and depressed these last couple of weeks – barely eating or sleeping – and he won't even tell me why. All I know is that it has something to do with Scorpius and that day in Hogsmeade. It feels like it did last time." Her eyes welled with tears and Mary placed a hand consolingly on her shoulder.

"I know what you mean – Scorpius was so happy whenever he was with Albus. When they became friends, he walked around with what seemed like a permanent smile on his face, but ever since that day he's been the most miserable that I think I've ever seen him." Mary said with a small, sad smile.

Rose groaned in frustration. "We need to something about it – if only we could get them to talk through their issues instead of avoiding each other like the plague!" she said.

Suddenly, Mary had an idea. "I think I know what to do" she said with a grin on her face.

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At breakfast the following morning, the girls put their plan into action. Rose arrived in the Great Hall shortly after Albus did and sat next to him, watching him picking at his toast with a glum expression on his face.

"Morning Albus" she said brightly. "Got any plans for today?" she asked. It was a Saturday and she sincerely hoped that Albus wasn't planning to spend yet another weekend alone in his room, shutting out the world.

"Not really" he said with about as much enthusiasm as he could muster which wasn't a whole lot.

"Come on Albus" she said gently, placing her hand on his forearm.

He hissed in pain and pulled his arm away, trying to mask the look of pain on his face. Not well enough though because Rose saw it for exactly what it was and the expression on her face quickly went from concern to barely concealed fury. "Outside. Now." She hissed and with that she got up and stormed out of the Great Hall. Albus reluctantly followed her.

When they were alone in the Entrance Hall Rose turned around to face him, livid. "What the hell are you thinking?! You promised last time that this wasn't going to happen again. Why? Why are you hurting yourself again? Why won't you talk to me? Maybe I can help you. Just please... please don't hurt yourself anymore." She fought back tears as she talked, how could he do this again? She thought.

"I'm sorry" he said "I'm so sorry" he looked down as he spoke, tears also forming in his eyes.

"Albus you have to promise me. Promise me that you will never do this again and you have to keep that promise. I know you've been pretty depressed lately, but there are other ways of dealing with it that don't involve hurting yourself. You have no idea how much it kills me to see you like this and to know that you don't trust me enough to tell me why – it breaks my heart." Rose said, tear flowing freely down her cheeks now.

He looked her in the eyes; "I promise" he said. She let out an audible sigh of relief at his words. "Please don't think that it's because I don't trust you – I trust you more than anyone – I just… I had no idea how to tell you" he said.

"Just tell me – you know I will always love you no matter what – you have to know that you can talk to me and that I won't judge you. What happened in Hogsmeade?" asked Rose.

Albus closed his eyes – he couldn't look at her while he told her his deepest secret "Fuck" he muttered under his breath. "The truth is that I have loved Scorpius for about a year now. It was both a blessing and a curse when we were paired together on that damn Potions assignment a few weeks ago. I thought that it would be really awkward and weird and it was at first, but then we got to know each other better and we became friends" he said, insanely glad that the hall was empty except for them as everyone was still at breakfast. "It was more than I could have hoped for, just being friends – even that was painful but at least it was something. When we went to Hogsmeade, it was a perfect day – until I completely fucked it up. We were having a snowball fight and Scorpius accidently fell on top of me and without thinking, I kissed him. H-he…. " Albus couldn't continue, he was crying so hard.

Rose came up to him and hugged him. She didn't even need to say anything – Albus knew that she understood. It didn't matter to her if he was gay or in love with Scorpius – she loved him no matter what and she would always be there for him.

Neither of them knew how long they stood there like that, but when they were both calm, they broke away from the hug and smiled at each other. "Never again" she said, greatly resembling her mother.

"Never again" he agreed.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" """""""""""""""""""""""""""

Later that day, while Rose and Albus were studying in the Library, Rose complained that she needed to do some serious work on this new spell that they were learning in Charms.

"Rose, you've already learnt it – most of the others haven't even managed to do it yet" Said Albus exasperatedly.

"That doesn't mean I don't have to practise" she said huffily. "Come and practise with me? Please?" she begged.

"Alright" he said, resigning to the fact that she was going to drag him along whether he wanted to go or not.

"Yay!" she squealed, earning them a glare from Madam Pince. "Just let me go back to Gryffindor Tower to get my things – meet me in the Charms classroom." She said happily. Personally Albus didn't see what she was so happy about – it was only practising charms for crying out loud – but maybe she was just glad that he was actually agreeing to do something instead of just lovking himself up in his room.

"Ok – see you there" he replied as Rose hurried out of the library, leaving a rather confused Albus still sitting at their table in the library.

When Albus arrived in the Charms classroom, Rose wasn't there, so Albus sat on one of the desks and waited.

After about ten minutes, the door to the classroom opened and Albus turned around, expecting to see Rose, but instead he saw Scorpius standing in the doorway of the class room looking very awkward and confused.

**Don't forget – double chapter so keep reading! **


	6. Never Let You Go

_**Chapter six: Never Let You Go**_

**Author's Note: Hi again! Hope you enjoy this double update and please review! XD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters of Albus and Scorpius, they belong to J.K. Rowling.**

Scorpius just stood there. He was in a state of total shock – he was face to face with the very person that he had been trying to avoid these last couple of weeks. How the hell did that happen?! Someone up there has it in for me I swear he thought to himself.

Oh fuck my life thought Albus. The very last person he wanted to see was of course the very person who just happened to be in this classroom at the exact time he was supposed to be meeting Rose. What are the odds?

"Uh… Mary asked me to meet her here…." Said Scorpius awkwardly and the sound of Scorpius' voice was like music to Albus' ears.

"That's odd. I'm supposed to be meeting Rose here right about now." Replied Albus with a slight frown.

"I think" said Scorpius with a slight smile "that we have been set up."

"I think that you may be right" said Albus smiling back. It was the first genuine smile he had felt since that day in Hogsmeade.

They both looked sharply towards the door at the sound of the lock clicking into place. "Shit" muttered Scorpius, trying and failing to open the door, even when he pulled out his wand and muttered _"Alohamora", _the door still would not budge.

"We're not letting you out until you have sorted out your issues!" came the muffled voices of Rose and Mary from the other side of the door.

"Damn Rose" sighed Albus.

"I guess that they want to make sure that we can't leave until we have fixed … this" said Scorpius, sighing and sitting down on a desk opposite Albus.

They sat in awkward silence for several minutes until Albus just couldn't take it anymore. He felt that he had to say something, to apologise, to explain.

But for all the words in the entirety of the English language, he could not think of a single thing to say.

In the end, it was Scorpius who broke the silence.

"About that day… "

Albus looked up.

"I'm sorry. I know that doesn't change anything but I am. I-I didn't mean to kiss you. I don't know what I was thinking – the only answer I've been able to come up with was that I wasn't thinking – please believe me, I never wanted this to happen." It all came pouring out – all the emotions he had been feeling those last couple of weeks coming out in his words.

"Did you –" Scorpius began, but then stopped.

"Did I what?" asked Albus.

Scorpius took a deep breath, not looking at Albus "Did you mean it? Did you mean to kiss me? Was it just an accident? Or was it just a joke?"

"Of course it wasn't a joke – I would never do that to you. I - " Albus took a deep breath before continuing "I meant it – I have had feelings for you for the longest time and then when we were paired together for the Potions assignment…. We became friends and I - "

"You what?" asked Scorpius getting up off the desk and taking a hesitant step towards Albus.

"I-I feel even harder for you. But I knew that I could never tell you how I felt because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. Being your friend meant more to me than you will ever know. I'm sorry." By this time, tears had welled up in Albus' eyes and were threatening to spill over.

Scorpius stepped closer and took Albus' hands in his own. It was then that he noticed a cut on Albus' wrist which came down a little further down his wrist than Albus' shirt covered. His eyes widened as he pushed Albus' shirt sleeve, revealing the cuts on his arm which Albus had inflicted on himself. Fresh cuts were carved into his skin over the top of old scars from many years ago.

Scorpius' eyes widened in horror as he saw what Albus had done to himself. Albus tried in vain to pull his arms out of Scopius' grasp, but he was too strong and held Albus' hands tightly in his own.

"Albus….. what have you done?! You - " but he was lost for words. His eyes filled with tears and he felt a horrible sensation settle in the pit of his stomach. It was guilt – if only he could have stayed that day in Hogsmeade, talked to Albus, told him how he felt – then maybe Albus would not have done this to himself. He did not even try to stop the tears as they flowed freely down his cheeks and fell to the cold stone floor. He closed his eyes – he couldn't bear to look anymore.

"It was all just too much – and this was the only thing that made me feel better – made me feel anything besides this hollow ache in my heart" he sobbed uncontrollably now and he fell on his knees to the floor, pulling Scorpius down with him. They both knelt there, sobbing.

"Some of these scars are old…." Scorpius said hesitantly.

"They're from last time" said Albus. "Three years ago, I was pretty depressed and I started to cut myself. It was… an escape. A way to distract me from the pain that I was feeling. I was determined that the only solution to the pain that I felt was more pain."

"And after the day in Hogsmeade, you started to hurt yourself again?" asked Scorpius although he was fairly certain that he already knew the answer.

"Yeah….. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. For kissing you, for hurting you… I ruined everything. I wish I could take it back – but I can't." Albus looked up at Scorpius with tear-stained cheeks and then bowed his head, looking anywhere but at Scorpius.

"It wasn't your fault – I shouldn't have run off like I did. I should have told you how I felt." Said Scopius slowly.

Albus still didn't look up so Scorpius released one of Albus' hands and lifted his hand up to Albus' face, cupping it gently. Albus looked up in surprise "Wh- " but he didn't get a chance to finish his sentence because at that moment, Scorpius pressed his lips softly against Albus'.

After a few seconds, they broke apart, Albus looking at Scorpius with a look of shock and confusion on his face.

"Albus, I have loved you since the moment that I first got to know you. I couldn't tell you – I thought that you were straight and would hate me if I told you of my feelings or thtyou would be disgusted by me. When you kissed me, I wasn't sure what you meant by it – I thought maybe that it was some sort of joke – I wasn't sure. I got scared and I ran. I'm so sorry."

Albus smiled and it seemed to light up his entire face – he's beautiful thought Scorpius, smiling widely.

Albus leaned in and captured Scorpius' lips with his own, kissing him gently at first, then more roughly, want and need pouring into the kiss. Scopius' eyes fluttered closed and he let go of Albus' wrists and wrapped his arms around Albus' neck. Albus moved his now free arms and wrapped them around Scorpius' waist.

After a little while, Albus' tongue slowly licked along Scorpius' lower lip, requesting entrance. Scorpius opened his mouth to the raven-haired boy and let out a moan deep in his throat as he felt Albus' tongue sliding against his own, teeth clicking as they kissed, devouring each other as though their lives depended upon it.

It was then that the door to the classroom burst open and there stood Mary and Rose, obviously having decided that they had spent enough time sorting out their problems and were ready to be let out. Scorpius and Albus broke apart and stared at the two girls who were looking at them with identical grins on their faces.

"Well, I think that they have certainly sorted out their issues" said Mary with a smirk. "What do you think Rose?" she asked, turning to the other girl.

"I would say so." Replied Rose with a giggle.


End file.
